Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Just right around the corner...

Saturday was the most beautiful day weather-wise.  X and I took Graydon on a "date" on a gondola tram across the East River to Roosevelt Island (a long sliver of an island between Manhatten and Queens).  It was so much fun because it was quiet with open spaces over there.  So very relaxing!

Later we went to Central Park, and apparently half of NYC also goes to Central Park on Saturdays, but we still had fun.  The boys got balloon swords and played "explorer" all over the rocks.

Case taking a break.

This is maybe my new favorite picture of my sweet boy, Graydon.  He will turn 4 years old next Wednesday.  I feel really bad about him missing out on a normal birthday party experience.  He has been saying lately, "I miss my friends and my cousins in McKinney, TX."  Poor guy.  I love him so much.

Monday we took Graydon to the 9/11 Memorial.  Case stayed home, due to naptime and our ever-present need to keep him clear of germs.  Thankfully Granddad volunteered to stay back with him.  It was the wettest, sloppiest day ever, but we came out with all our rain gear on and survived.  Graydon and I are standing in front of the only tree from the original site that survived the attacks 10.5 years ago.  Amazing!

The North Reflecting Pool (with the new Tower One being constructed in the background). 

It was emotional explaining to Graydon what happened here.  He kept saying that the bad guys "made the wrong choice."  But that sweet boy got a smile on his face and said, "but it's okay because they [referring to the innocent people killed] are alive in Heaven!!"

Even more emotional was our pre-opp appointment today for this adorable boy.  The nurses were describing how everything will be.  I was surprised when she kept listing off different tubes that will be coming out of him in all these different places.  Seriously, there is a tube in almost every orifice, in addition to 3-4 coming out of his chest!  He will go straight into the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU), of which MSKCC does not have.  So he'll go "across the street" in an ambulance after surgery to the Cornell University Hospital and will be there for 2-3 days, or until he can breathe on his own.  He will also be kept sedated for 3 days.  All of that news just hit me hard and I definitely felt raw.  It's just so sad to see your baby like that.

After he is awake and breathing on his own, he will come back across the street to MSKCC and will go to their pediatric observation unit (POU - they pronounce it like "pooh" and it kills me.  Seriously, they want me to keep a straight face everytime they say Case will be in the "pooh?"  Can they not call it the P-O-U or pronounce it "po?").  Once he is there it will be straight into hard-core recovery.  They want him to start walking again by Day 4 or 5.  Poor baby.

It's just all very overwhelming.  When taking the picture above I kept thinking, "this is the last cookie he'll eat for a very long time!"  I just want him better and I want everyone to go home.  But I am trying to focus on the task at hand - get Case cancer-free (or closer to that) and better!

We welcome all prayers from all walks of life - so please pray for our little boy.  We are praying for no complications and that he recovers speedily.

 Please pray for his amazing Dr. La Quaglia to be guided and inspired during surgery.  Dr. La Quaglia is definitely a believer in God.  Every time I say something like, "well, you are the best.  That's why we are here."  He says, "No.  There is only one best," and points up.  He is amazing.  He takes NO credit for the amazing life-saving skills that he has.  He is most definitely a very honed instrument that God can use to save our precious children.  I am just so grateful to this man for being humble enough so that he could be inspired, instead of being cocky and giving all credit to himself.

I will try to have my brother post a short update on this blog after surgery (which will be late Thursday night or Friday morning).  Until then, my friends, let's just keep praying, because this is all way beyond you and me!


  1. ALL of you, and especially your sweet little Case, are in our prayers!

    Clint and Summer Kellogg and family

  2. Praying for all of you! Tell Graydon that our kiddos miss him too!

    Anna & Corey

  3. That post touched me so deeply! Emily, you are so strong. The kids miss Graydon too! And they sent him an awesome birthday present that I know he'll love. I love Graydon's response about the people who died in the 9/11 attacks. Wisdom from the mouth of babes. And of course, dear sweet Case is always on my mind and in my heart, in all my prayers. I'll make sure everyone I know is praying for him on Thursday (and longer)! Love you!

  4. Wow. T-Minus one day and counting. Here we go!

    Yes, how overwhelming it is for us back at home watching and waiting, hanging on your every word ... and we're not even there; miles away physically and emotionally from where YOU must be! It is so heart-wrenching to think of all this sweet boy must go through in the next few days and weeks ahead. He looks so happy and normal sitting there in his striped romper and yellow flip-flops. I just wanted to squeeze those chubby legs and smother his face with kisses! Its difficult to comprehend the real villain that lives inside him. Seeing your baby undergo a major surgery -- I get that! "Stressful" is an understatement. But if it means being cancer-free then you do it. Thank you for briefly describing Dr. L (I'm not going to attempt to spell his name; I can't even remember how to pronounce it!). I feel all the more confident knowing that he is a humble man, sensitive to the whisperings and promptings of the Holy Ghost.

    We will most definitely continue praying!!

    And happy birthday to the G-Man next week. We love him too!

  5. I was okay until I read that he'd be sedated for 3 days. That one really got to me. Em, you are one strong lady!! And what an amazing doctor you have found. We will be praying for baby Case. We love you! xoxo.

  6. Oh Emily! I am sitting here in the waiting room of the car dealership wiping away tears. I always say it, but you really are amazing!! We have been praying non-stop for all of those things and will continue to until sweet Case is back to eating cookies! We love you all so much and know that heavenly Father will be helping and guiding Dr. L tomorrow. No doubt about it. What a sweet man. Sending love and hugs by the bucket loads.

  7. Oh my gosh. I cry everytime i read this blog. I feel for you, i hurt for you. I cant imagine having to go through all this with cash. I dont know that i could be as strong as you. I pray for you.

  8. Sweet Beckhams,

    We will have you in our hearts and prayers as you face yet another trial. You are such an inspiration to all who know you! Thank you for the posts as difficult as they may be to write. I'll be thinking of cookies to bake when Case will be ready for a handful or two!

    Our love and HUGE Texas hugs!

    Cindy and AJ

  9. Emily i am in Kendra's ward. I have been reading from the beginning but i dont think i have ever left a comment. But i had to today. If Case was one of my children i would want to know that so many others were praying for him. Case, your family and his wonderful doctor will be in my prayers as u have been before. This post really made me tear up even though i am reading it among yelling wild children;)

  10. Emily and X,
    You are all in our thoughts and prayers...especially tomorrow, surgery day. It is comforting to know that Case will be in such good hands...good hands that know who to give the credit to.
    We love your sweet family and will continue to pray that all will go as smoothly and problem-free as possible.
    Heidi and Bill

  11. I admire and love you so much. We constantly pray for Case and for you and X to have the strength to get through this. Thank you for this beautiful post that sums up how amazing you are. We all want you back and in your home, but I am so happy you are there with this wonderful doctor who is the best for Case. All our love!

    Ally & John

  12. I love you guys. Thank you for doing these posts to keep us updated. I'll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow.

  13. I've been thinking about you non stop this week and when I read this I just couldn't stop crying. I pray everything goes well today and that sweet Case will be able to have relief from any pains or discomforts he will face. I'm so glad you are getting the best help possible and will pray for this amazing doctor who has so much faith. What a blessing that is! You and X are my heroes! I pray you have an increase of faith and energy over these next couple of days and weeks. Love you.

  14. Hi Emily! You probably don't remember me but I was friends with Trisa Hadfield in high school and used to hang out with you guys sometimes. I used to occasionally ready your blog from the link on hers. When I heard about Case several months ago, I started praying and of course am currently praying now more than ever. I pray that on top of the best results possible that you and your family will find peace through this very trying time. God Bless!


  15. This post brought many emotions and tears....it is so evident that Case is in capable godly hands. As always, you are all in my prayers. I am reminded of a conference talk many years ago when speaking of a young girl who endured numerous surgeries speak of her experience in the hospital. She told her dad very matter of factly that all of the kids in the hospital were surrounded by angels.