Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Chemotherapy, Cycle 1

So we are on the third and final night of chemotherapy, cycle 1. I wish I could say that it has been easy and breezey, but it hasn't been. Everyone says that the first cycle is the hardest (and I hope that they are right because this just plain old sucks!).

We expected chemo to start with a little bit of a hub-bub, but no, it's the little IV bag pictured below. It goes into Case's port (on his chest). It first starts with 30 minutes of Zofran, an anti-nausea medicine, which doesn't really do the trick. Each chemo drug takes an hour, and he gets a different cocktail mix each night. That is so that the tumor doesn't build up a resistance to one drug.

At first we were so excited to start chemotherapy because it marks the beginning of treatment to get rid of this nasty tumor, but now we're over the excitement! We knew that chemo would be hard, but it's really sad and difficult to watch Case suffer so much. He has thrown up several times, which is particularly sad as he hasn't been nursing much. His blood pressure is high, and he is having bloody diapers. All of these are side effects of chemo.

This morning he was running a low-grade fever, which was really scary to me because we are trying avidly to avoid any type of infection. Fortunately his temperature is now normal. His liver functions are still off, since the tumor is pushing on his liver. So all of these things (vomiting, blood pressure, fever, liver functions, swelling) need to be resolved before we can go home.

The most tragic side effect of chemo is the sadness experienced by this little boy. He whimpers most of the time and doesn't smile anymore. We miss his smile. You can see in the pictures that he just plain old sad!

We know that this is the road to recovery and we are so thankful for the doctors and hospital that make all of this possible. We just really hope that future cycles are a little easier and that it works!! We have spent a lot of time just holding our baby, as that is the only thing that brings comfort.

We are so thankful for everyone's thoughtful prayers and fasts. We know that our sweet little boy is loved by so many and we can't express our gratitude for everyone's love. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again!


  1. Oh this breaks my heart! Poor little Case. He and you guys are going through so much. We continue to pray, think, and fast for you all. We love you and I can't wait to see his smile again.

  2. Oh Emily, my heart goes out to you. Its so hard to see little ones hurting, and not really knowing what it going on.

  3. Dear Beckhams,
    I'm not sure you remember us, Steve and Sally Walter. We met a couple of weeks ago at the pumpkin patch. We are Mandy Voges' parents. Steve and Xavier talked about cycling and I was able to coax some smiles from Case. I just wanted you to know that you are all in our prayers. I hope you don't mind that I put your names on the prayer roll at the the Los Angeles Temple yesterday when I attended and will continue to do so. Thank you for sharing your story and testimonies.

  4. So sorry for all your suffering. You are all so strong and brave. What a special boy Case is. As my 4 year old said- We will never stop praying for Case! Love to you all.

  5. Emily, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. Little Case is so sweet and we are praying hard for him and for your little family. We're so glad you have this blog; it's nice for us and our kids to have his little face to see... We love him and pray for him ALL the time.
    ~Summer Kellogg

  6. Hang in there, we wish we were there and could help more. You have our prayers, fasts and tears.

  7. Emily, I can't even imagine going though this with one of my children. It breaks my heart to see little Case so sad and to hear that he doesn't smile. I cried reading this entire post! Ihope you get to see that sweet beautiful smile again soon! We love you guys and will continue to pray for you!

  8. Dear Emily and Xavier,

    We are all praying for little Case and your entire family. May you all be blessed with strength, peace, and comfort as you go through this necessary process.


    The Bettison Family