Friday, July 6, 2012

Cancer Sucks

I have had some people say that they thought everything was great from my lack of posts. On the contrary, we are still in the hospital! We are day 3 into round 2 of chemo (total of 5 days). We are rounding out our fourth straight week here.

I would like to say that I have survived with grace and poise, but instead I have been filled with severe impatience, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Case, the poor little dude, has endured so much, I can't even begin to describe. I will say, though, that the hospital is made ten times worse all because of adhesives and tapes that are placed all over his body, only to be ripped off once they need to be removed.

He is chest-tube-free, but not because the doctors were okay with taking it out. Yesterday he ripped it out by using his feet! A nurse and doctor were changing the dressings on some bone marrow biopsies and we think his little toes wrapped around the tube and yanked it out! Despite the horrid pain and chaos that ensued, within 30 minutes he was already a new kid...for the better!

He has had several scans, whose results have not been too rosy. These tumors have proved to grow with a vengeance and aren't shrinking as easily as they did the first go around (hence the bitterness, anger, etc).

We are sick of splitting our time up between our two boys. We are sick of Case being so sad and continually being put through so many painful things. We are sick of bad news, and sick of hospital food! We hate cancer, and everything associated with it!

Our floor here at the hospital is shared with general surgery kids (tonsillectomies, broken bones, other non-sick surgeries). So I will also tell you that we are so sick of hearing these "sick" kids wailing because their leg hurts, only to be released the next day, and return to soccer practice the day after that. I can always tell if a patient is an oncology patient or not. Our oncology kids learn that it's not worth crying over every pain, ache, and prick.

The vague idea is that he could possibly go home next week after chemo is done and if we don't have any other things come up, which inevitably will. We keep praying for good results and that Case defies the odds and beats this nasty thing! Sorry for the downer of a post, but it's reality! Keep up with the prayers.


  1. Oh, Emily,

    My mother's heart aches for you. We are praying you all are HOME next week and progress is made shrinking the nasty tumors.

    You are loved.

    AJ and Cindy

  2. Oh Em my heart is breaking for you all. You're always in our thoughts.

  3. Last night, when JR was praying, he prayed for baby Case to be healed and comforted and then he whispered to me, "Mommy, what's baby Case's mommy's name?" I whispered back, "Emily" and then he prayed, "Heavenly Father, please bless baby Case to feel better and Miss Emily to be strong, and bless baby Case's daddy and brother too." Out of the mouths of babes. We all love you and your family so much. We're praying for you.

  4. I am so sorry!!! I really really really wish I could do something to remedy this. My heart is truly broken for you. I love you.

    (PS- I think I would have hit the impatient/angry/bitter state much much much sooner than you ... you'll always be a rock start to me!)


  5. Hi Emily and X, I am so sorry your family has to endure this trial. Heavenly Father put Case in your hands. You and X were chosen to care for this little one by our Heavenly Father. I know He has a plan, although we may not know or understand it today. I remember your family in my prayers every day.

    Scott Arnett

  6. Cancer does suck. Thanks for once again giving the rest of us a little bit of perspective. Prayers and fasts coming your way.

  7. I think Heavenly Father hates cancer too! He is on your side and so are we:) Love and prayers for you always.

  8. Emily, please don't apologize for expressing all of your frustrations in this post. This is what we need to hear so that we can pray for the specific things you need at this time. I am sure all of us would feel the exact same way if it were our child. We love you so much and continue praying daily for Case and for your family.

  9. Hi Emily. I'm so sorry. Trials suck. It is a blessing that you can vent your anger and frustrations to your friends and family. I hope you can find a bit of comfort in that. I love you all and hate that you are going through this. Prayers and love! - Erin

  10. Oh Emily, you are AMAZING. I am so sorry you are going through all of this, and especially your sweet little Case. What a trooper. We are praying for him and for all of you... to be comforted and strengthened and to beat that awful tumor. Love to you all. --Summer Kellogg